Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
