If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
