Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize