Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
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Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Pooping to opera.
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