i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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