I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
