ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
