The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
