im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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