He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
