my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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