no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
