am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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