She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
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you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
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And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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