i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
