Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
too bad you live with your parents still
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
