just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
