they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize