I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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