Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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