call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
