operation have a gay friend backfired
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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