I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize