wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
