New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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