So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
This is my gift to your gina
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
