At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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