I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
