Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
