Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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