Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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