So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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