As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
