He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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