take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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