Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
