just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
