The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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