You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
