What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Ketchup is God's man juice
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
