You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
