walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
