im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
