kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize