After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
