how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
