Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
