If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
