Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Randomize
