Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
