proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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