Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
