You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
