I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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