I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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