brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
