Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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