apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just found puke in my bra..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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