We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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